Can you remember the last time you thought or said this to yourself? Or have you been struggling to understand someone else’s big picture idea? It doesn’t matter how great our communication skills are there is always so much more to learn and practice. Being a great communicator in business is vital for:
- Getting people on your side
- Selling your products and services
- Expressing the way you feel
- Sharing your vision or big idea
- Getting what you want
- Persuading or influencing others
- Coaching, mentoring or consulting
- Delivering a powerful presentation
- Training others
How we manage to get it so wrong? In NLP training years ago we learnt all about some of the ways we speak to keep us safe from criticism or having to make decisions. We sometimes distort the truth to justify our ideas or behaviours.
However it can confuse the other party or put up barriers to our goals. Confusing our listener rarely gives us what we need or want. We distort information, we generalise and we delete information.
A powerful way we can communicate is by using specific communication and questioning to make sense of the conversation. For example Distortion – Claiming to know how someone else thinks. He doesn’t like me (How do you specifically know he doesn’t like you? Did he tell you that?) Generalisations – Words like always, never, every, can’t. I never win (Ever? Tell me a time when you had a small win) Deletion – Part of the information is left out. He rejected me (Who rejected you? How specifically did he reject you? What did he reject?)
Or in a presentation – The presenter may say “Research states…” (An audience member may ask ” What research specifically?” )
Next time you are having a conversation with a colleague listen for the patterns.
Reduce or eliminate confusion and misunderstandings by using specific communication with our colleagues, partners, friends, clients or your audience
